Preparing for Prostate Massage, Strap-On Play, and Anal Play as a Top
A practical guide, from someone who learned the hard way
I remember my first professional client very clearly.
He found me because I openly talked about prostate massage and strap-on play — which, at the time, wasn’t nearly as common as it is now. In my personal life, I’d had experiences with people who were prepared, enthusiastic, and knew their bodies well. They arrived with preferences, routines, and a level of readiness that made everything flow smoothly.
This client… did not.
He overstated his experience, underestimated preparation, and taught me a few important lessons very quickly — mostly about assumptions, communication, and protecting my bedding.
Years later, after a great deal more experience (personal and professional), I’ve learned that preparation is what makes these experiences enjoyable rather than stressful — for everyone involved.
This guide exists so you don’t have to learn those lessons the hard way.
Before Anything Else: Read This With Curiosity, Not Pressure
Anal-focused experiences — prostate massage, strap-on play, or otherwise — ask for a bit more intention than most people expect. That doesn’t make them complicated; it just means they benefit from slowing down.
Whether you’re the one giving or receiving, understanding what’s involved helps build trust and keeps things from derailing once you’re in the moment.
If You’re Offering Anal-Focused Play
If you’re curious about providing prostate massage or strap-on play — professionally or personally — preparation matters just as much on your end.
You don’t need an elaborate setup. You do need:
gloves
protection for surfaces
lubricant (and more than you think)
body-safe toys
a willingness to communicate clearly
Quality matters. Non-porous, body-safe materials are always worth the investment. You don’t need every size or style imaginable — you need a small, thoughtful range and the patience to use them well.
And yes: hands alone can do a lot when you know how to use them.
About Toys and Tools [A PSA]
If something smells strongly right out of the package, it doesn’t belong anywhere near a body. Anal tissue is sensitive, and cheap materials are not a bargain in the long run.
Stick to toys that can be cleaned thoroughly and shared safely when appropriate — or better yet, encourage people to bring items they know and trust.
Simple is better than excessive. Always.
Communication Is Not Optional
If it’s your first time offering this kind of play, say so. If it’s someone else’s first time receiving, take that seriously.
Experience levels matter — not because they’re a hierarchy, but because they inform pacing, positioning, and how much time you’ll need. When in doubt, allow more time than less.
And remember: honesty at the beginning prevents discomfort later.
A Necessary Conversation About Preparation
If someone is receiving anal play, preparation isn’t a suggestion — it’s part of the agreement.
Many people simply don’t know what’s expected, especially if they’ve never explored this part of their body intentionally. Assume nothing. Be clear. Share resources. Encourage questions.
This guide has helped my clients immensely. Download it and share it with yours.
It’s not awkward to talk about preparation. It’s awkward not to.
If prep needs to happen on site, account for that time in advance. Clarity here saves everyone stress.
When to Pause or Reschedule
If there’s active irritation, injury, or discomfort, this is not the moment to push forward. Anal-focused experiences require the body to be receptive. Healing comes first. Think inflamed hemorrhoids, and anal fissures. A lot of people have hemorrhoids in general, but anything that looks irritated requires a conversation.
There will always be another opportunity.
The Experience Itself: Slow Is the Skill
Once everything begins, your primary tools are attention and patience.
People need time to relax into unfamiliar sensations. Arousal helps. Breathing helps. Rushing does not.
Focus on the whole body, not just one area. Pay attention to cues. Ask questions. Adjust.
This is not about performance. It’s about responsiveness.
And yes — physical responses may fluctuate. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong or that interest has faded.
If It's Not a Hit Right Away
Not everyone loves this kind of play immediately — or ever.
Sometimes the body needs repetition to understand a new sensation. Sometimes it simply isn’t someone’s thing. Both outcomes are valid.
Curiosity does not obligate enthusiasm.
If something doesn’t land, it’s okay to stop, recalibrate, or move on to something else entirely.
Afterward: A Few Practical Notes
Anal-focused experiences can feel intense, grounding, surprising, or quietly profound — or simply interesting. Reactions vary.
Take your time afterward. Removal should be gradual. Clean-up is part of the process. A shower is often welcome.
And if everything went well? Say so. Positive reinforcement matters too.
The Point of All This
Preparation isn’t about control — it’s about creating the conditions for trust, ease, and genuine enjoyment.
Whether you’re exploring once or building a practice around this work, intention makes all the difference.
Ask questions. Read widely. Stay curious.
And remember: learning something new about your body — or someone else’s — is always worth approaching with care.
-Erin
